I LOOOOOOOOOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!! i agree so much. pretending not to care takes way more effort than it's worth which is, for me, usually nothing. i would much rather scare away the wrong person by being open and honest about who i am and what i need from a partner than stuff my needs down as deeply as it takes to win their approval. does that make sense? idk. brain is fried. but i DO know this post is amazing
As a poly person, I see so often "non-monogamous" being co-opted to get away with situationship behavior. It is truly tainting the dating pool. Poly is becoming synonymous with "casual." When often times it involves deep commitment. I don't think a lot of the people caught up in situationships want poly as their end goal. I say this as someone who just found herself in a situationship when I opened up with all of the possibilities that non-monogamy can include. Idk, man, I think people just want to have their cake and eat it too.
"Women are raised with the unspoken-not-so-unspoken understanding that being wanted, sexually, specifically, is the closest thing to societal value. Not intelligence, not kindness, not even actual sexual satisfaction."
Literally unlearning all of this right now through some really beautiful ENM relationships, meaningful encounters and moments of celibacy.
I LOOOOOOOOOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!! i agree so much. pretending not to care takes way more effort than it's worth which is, for me, usually nothing. i would much rather scare away the wrong person by being open and honest about who i am and what i need from a partner than stuff my needs down as deeply as it takes to win their approval. does that make sense? idk. brain is fried. but i DO know this post is amazing
STD, most are curable. Situationships have a funny way of sticking around…
As a poly person, I see so often "non-monogamous" being co-opted to get away with situationship behavior. It is truly tainting the dating pool. Poly is becoming synonymous with "casual." When often times it involves deep commitment. I don't think a lot of the people caught up in situationships want poly as their end goal. I say this as someone who just found herself in a situationship when I opened up with all of the possibilities that non-monogamy can include. Idk, man, I think people just want to have their cake and eat it too.
“why are we so hell-bent on acting indifferent while craving devotion with every fiber of our souls?”
😭
Wow, yes to all of this!!
"Women are raised with the unspoken-not-so-unspoken understanding that being wanted, sexually, specifically, is the closest thing to societal value. Not intelligence, not kindness, not even actual sexual satisfaction."
Literally unlearning all of this right now through some really beautiful ENM relationships, meaningful encounters and moments of celibacy.
Thank you for writing!
yes yes and yes! saving this so i can come back to it in times of need <33
so fucking good!!! so excited to have found your substack. also let’s have a bagel together…
🥯🥯🥯 im soooo down!!
this is so good, i love!! this is so correct and well said. your writing is incredible.
Loved every word!
I love this!
Ah, honesty. The rare, forgotten beast of yore. There was still some around in living memory but not much left...
my last hookup had a 3 inch long clit.
that was 13 years ago
im still in therapy
Who the hell would voluntarily want an STD??
and who the hell would voluntarily want a situationship?!?!
Both are uninvited guests that overstay their welcome!
anybody who sits on a theatre seat with no pants on obviously wants one
so like did you read anything at all that i wrote or are you just commenting to be hateful